Sep 10th 2026

From Getting High to Going Higher: My 30+ Year Journey With Cannabis

From Getting High to Going Higher: My 30+ Year Journey With Cannabis

By: Nicole Mixdorf, Akashic Energy Healer, Modern Mystic, & Podcast Host

Weed came into my life over 30 years ago, when I was in high school. Back then I smoked to get high and chill out. It was an escape from the busyness and realities of life. And it was fun! My friends and I would walk around the neighborhood, sharing joints, laughing, getting the munchies, and feeling so carefree. But the part where I got caught with possession at school and arrested in front of hundreds of my classmates was definitely not fun. The humiliation I endured and the loss of my friends that happened when I was forced to switch schools between sophomore and junior year was an invisible scar I didn’t realize I was carrying until recently.

At the time, that experience taught me to be more careful, but it didn’t really stop me from enjoying my relationship with Mary Jane. Many years of daily blazing transpired from there, throughout high school and college, and even during my studies abroad. I even went through a period when I felt like I needed it to get through my day, smoking so much that I barely felt stoned anymore and always seemed to need more.

At the ripe age of 22, I found yoga and my relationship to marijuana began to slowly change. I started noticing how it would elevate my yoga practice, allowing me to feel my body more deeply in each pose. I could tap into a greater awareness of myself and my spirit as I practiced breathwork. It felt amazing… so liberating and freeing! Smoking a bowl before yoga became my go-to for many years, even when I decided to dive deep and become a yoga teacher. My pipe, lighter, and baggie of weed lived inside the pocket of my yoga mat bag. My constant companion and friend.

Then one day about 15 years ago, I noticed another shift. Smoking no longer made me giggly, hungry, or tired. Instead, it made me feel super inspired, connected, and alive! I started getting what I called divine downloads, where all of the problems in my life had sudden solutions flowing into my mind. An entire business plan would come through out of nowhere! I felt wired, awake, and tapped into something beyond myself. Where was this coming from? What was happening?

I stopped questioning it and decided to start using it intentionally anytime something heavy was sitting on my heart or in my mind. I was always pleasantly surprised when creative solutions began flowing through me. Carrying a notebook and colored pens with me became a staple during those experiences, so I could write down the insights that came through. It was interesting that the effect was even more significant if I let a few days go in between smoking sessions, so that’s what I did.

This went on for years… my secret weapon for tapping into divine guidance. I never really understood what was happening, but that didn’t matter. I was grateful that the experience helped me feel closer to myself, and I began using cannabis as a tool to connect more deeply with my intuition. My meditations got deeper, I felt more open and alive in my body, and I was happy.

When I was 31, I was diagnosed with an “auto-immune” condition called ulcerative colitis, which causes debilitating bleeding intestinal ulcers… seriously no fun. My dad was battling cancer at the time, and all the stress from my corporate job and being his caregiver was made even more stressful with my own health crisis to deal with. I eventually was forced to take a leave of absence from work to release stress and focus more on self-care. At a retreat, I smoked a bowl, and tapped into my bhavana (a practice to visualize what I really desired) and a vision of leaving my corporate career to start a corporate wellness company came clearly into view.

Trusting this vision, I took the leap of faith to dive into entrepreneurship, helping national brands develop strategic wellness programs to support the wellbeing of thousands of their staff. I’ve been running that company since 2012. Unfortunately, the flare ups of colitis continued, and eventually the medication stopped working. The doctors had no answers for me, so armed with the network of incredible wellness practitioners and healers from my business, I decided to take my health into my own hands. That journey led me to try over 60 different healing modalities on the quest to find my answers and heal my body.

I eventually discovered and got trained in the Akashic Records, which is a modality that opens a doorway to connect with the wisdom and memories of the soul, across all lifetimes and family lineages. The moment I started elevating my consciousness into higher dimensions to access the Akashic Records, I finally found the answers I was looking for and then did the deeper work to release the past lifetimes and ancestral wounds that allowed my body to heal itself. Being a healer came so naturally to me! I started facilitating powerful transformations for other people right away… my soul was remembering gifts that it had mastered over many lifetimes.

The most interesting thing of all was discovering that my Akashic Records would spontaneously open on their own anytime I used cannabis. It was a different experience than consciously opening the Records while sober, but suddenly, I had a framework for understanding what I’d been experiencing all those years. What I had been calling “divine downloads” felt remarkably similar to the information I received when consciously opening the Akashic Records. Could I have been spontaneously accessing the Records through cannabis all along?

For me, the answer was a resounding YES. Fascinating!

Over the years, this completely transformed my relationship with cannabis. What had once been something I used simply to get high became a sacred plant ally… something I approached with intention, reverence and curiosity.

 

Today, I create conscious cannabis ceremonies designed to quiet the noise, turn inward, elevate consciousness, and create greater receptivity to the wisdom that wants to come through.

And that’s something you can begin exploring, too.

In my next article, I’ll share a simple framework for creating your own conscious cannabis ceremony… from preparing your space and setting an intention to connecting with the plant, opening yourself to receive, and integrating what comes through.

Because after more than 30 years with cannabis, one thing I know for certain is this:

There is a profound difference between simply consuming cannabis and entering into sacred relationship with it.

Stay open, stay grounded, and stay curious.

Much love,
Nicole
https://www.nicolemixdorf.com/